Wednesday, 29 April 2009


One of the funnest gigs we ever played was to Dr. Tom, Julian Riot (the promoter, amazing guy) and the bar stuff. Originally a half full venue, we managed to make everyone leave again. YES! The other bands on the bill couldn't beleive we were headlining, which is fair enough...look at us, we're not exactly Kasabian innit.

Thursday, 12 February 2009



Kill All Dogs

"Real Life Things"

Completely forgot we had this blog......
A LOT of stuff and things and doings have occured/been/done since the last post. Swn Fest in Cardiff was a clod trap, well good. sweaty palms/nausea/oweing money to good people/long johns/jack sharp/guilt, oh, the guilt. Playing was fun but stressful. The set was recorded in it's entirety by BBC Radio Wales for Adam Walton's show. BIG LOVE to him and Ectogram and the stilletoes and Alan who bought us food and beer and everything. You can hear it all by downloading it from our myspace:
Considering it was our first gig playing songs with chorus's and middle eights and verses and not just making noise and smashing things, it was good. Van on the way back was baaaaaaad.

Just before that we got teeeeshhoits made focking what yeh guilt bone. Printed in Preston with Lauren and her mam. Deebo done one and Alex done one.
Sold most of them already leeeek. 5 beans please. Completely sold out all the Ectogram splits. Emyr at Ankst may have some left though.

Releases n fock: Split with Sex Hands is nearly done. Just need Vocals. C40 cassette innit. Caeser/Black Bile single/sampler/gut-wig/CD-R is out if you want it. Skelington Horse will be released by someone other than ourselves when it's recorded which is ace as it'll have distribution n fock yeh. Dan what plays in Burnst and I (Edwin) have a newly released collaberative jam C40 called Zweiters what is out now if you want one. Seriously ace as fock jams wih free/not free guitar angles and fock. Piano/banjo reverb haunt bastards, scream jams in the kitchen post house gig and ALL FM radio jam beauty with Dave Birchall. Silk. 3 quid. Art by the talented hands of nina alexandra humphreys ofcourse. you can hear this stuff at

I'm boring myself with this blogshit

Alan Holmes' gigs in Menai Bridge, Anglesey are THE gigs to go to if you like your weirdo sounds and live round North Wales. Playing there with Ronny Waerns on the 21st o January was a reet blast. He was incredible. Gave off a bit of a nudist vibe but proper nice and lovely Norwegian fella. Jamming with him and Maeyc and Alan from Ectogram was mint allthough I broke about 4 strings. Took me and Alex ELEVEN FOCKING HOURS to get from Manchester to Wales because Virgin trains are a bunch of focking shitty arse holes with cunts for eyes. Cum gullets. Alex and I would like to wish them all slow and painful, AIDS related deaths. Good drunk/drum jam in waiting room was fun, losing the soul of one of my shoes and walking through gravel to tescos to buy a pair of 'convict goes to court' pointy shit shoes was not. Her poor, pregnant sister in law Ali had to pick us up at 3 in the morning on HER RUDDY BIRTHDAY. Life is full of guilt. Yes it is.

A house party was had on the 7th of Feb at our gaff at 68 Langdale Road in celebration of Lauren Velvicks 21 years on this wretched and vile planet. People who played were: Yours truly, The Jelas (Nicest people ever, amazing cooks and as tight as a cats arse), Total Victory (missed most of their set but the last song was a choooon, prompted first proper mosh pit of the evening), dbh (Dan's guitar action was as usual brilliant and wonderful, covering Whitney Houston and Elvis on this occasion), Deus Ex Incendia (Sexy Drone/Krunk Back two piece from the sexiest people on Earth) and Cryptic Salve band (Blew us away like a black metal Harry Pussy, drunken talks of a split with these guys were had. Hope it happens, so ruddy good!)
Managed to fall off the drums not once but seven or so times. mad gash up my back. not playing drunk again. Let the whole side down. Sorry boys-lads. Lauren had a good time and it was overal a really good night like. Cheers to all that came innit. We'll be playing Alex's Birthday on the 14th of Feb and also in Darren Cryptic Salve's basement on the 21st, where we'll do our first proper cover yeh...a sabbath choon innit. We're officialy a house party band now.

We've got lots of focking gigs coming up and stuff. check the myspace. I've almost bored myself to sleep with this shite. Booking a tour is hard. Thanks to everyone who's helped us out so far. Looks like Deebo is gunna have to drive all of it as Sharan couldn't get insured.


Saturday, 18 October 2008


We played a gig at our house last night. Hurried Rushed thing when James from Temperatures told me his other band had a show cancelled and they needed a gig two days before. It was very much fun and Limn (James' band) were absolutely stupendously good! Really, ruddy nice guys too. I shouldn't have got so drunk. Lauren made some cardboard helmet/masks for them and they loved them so much they took them to wear on the rest of the tour. We also made a massive comedy penis banner. ART.
Thanks to all that came!

Tuesday, 14 October 2008


Our web page for the time being yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no

Skelington Horse EP out late November sometime. Art/design and layout + super sexy pictures of us on a mountian painted red by Alex Gould AKA Ika Zcha. It was cold and I puked. He's like the Welsh Herzog but fit.

It'll have maybe six or seven tracks of old new old new songs. Recorded and produced n stuff by D-Kwon (Dominic Tanner). Too sexy.

TEEEESSSSHHHIIIIRRRTTTS due 9th of November! dESIGNS by Alexandra Humphries and Deebo ( Lots of colours and sizes. Hand screen printed by alex, dyl, Lauren, her Mam and I. Will be real groovy.


Gigth: November 15th, Swn Festival, Cardiff w/Ectogram/Stilletoes/Young Marble Giants/Dananananananananakroyd/Clinic and lots of others

Manchester House party guilt aktion November 9th TBC

Islington Mill, Salford, 19th November w/Parking Non-Stop/Barry Dean + Others TBC

y'checkin out ma bean?

Can't think of anything else to say...